No Clue

sometimes I seem to forget that I am the mother of 6 other children...is that right? I have no idea...but what are you gonna do?....tell me?  your oldest has cancer and is really if you want to put your cards on the table.....he is not supposed to make it.....so, you deal with him...and all that goes with the territory....of course.....you don't think twice....but do you remember you have 6 other children?  that is my question.....how do you really divide the time?  you can't.....you have to give up...in a good sense and know that Our Lord will take care of the remaining children.....as people tell me ALLLLL the time ( and I believe it....so....we're good) I can only do what I can do right now....I am fighting for my son's survivial...whether it be....chemo, pain, food...etc.....you know....I don't worry.....yes, I will have my moments that I freak out......on pain control.....etc....Marshall you understand...well, he doesn't read this so...I guess I am talking to myself as a mother but I don't worry...I will cry, I will get frustrated, I will have a moment of "freak out", I will have a "seriously I am I really here" moment......but I laugh....I joke....lot of inside ones at this point....and I love it!!!!!!!  It is awesome....okay, I know that I seem a littel wierd now...but .....grab the bull by the horns and runnnnnnn.....scream....have fun.......keep those horns close and always watch but run and and have a blast.....laugh, live and love!!!!!!!