Saturday, December 18, 2010

I have a Bestest Friend

I have been married for 18 years (man, can't believe it's been that long.....Dang) and just have realized to the extent of my husband's and my relationship....He is my Bestest Friend!!! I don't know what I would do without him....there are many times I want to murder  him....LOL but in the end....NAW!  I think I will keep him....LOL.  Seriously now, going thru all this with Marshall puts a huge toll on you personally.  The things that need to be done, the emotions you go thru, the lack of hmmmm lets.....seee.........well, everything.......really gets to you sometimes...and you need someone who is there for you to listen (but you really don't realize that).  Well, Brian and I have had many a conversations in bed....we could be watching TV and then all of a sudden, one of us will bring something up, or ask a question, or something.....well, there goes the night.....LOL!  We can talk for hours.

Gosh, if I didn't have that/this right now I don't think I could go thru this with all that is going on.  Of course, I appreciated and loved Brian with all I have before, but I guess you don't think about (well I didn't really) the friendship of it all.  I could not live my life if I knew I couldn't talk to Brian forever.  I can't/couldn't imagine not hanging out with him everyday.  He has become so much apart of me, that it's like I would die bc something was taken out of me.  Anyway, I know this is stupid and all.....but for some reason it just dawned on me lately....I just love that guy so much and appreciate him...and how we can go to lunch and just "BE"  just the fact that you are with eachother is a comfort......it's funny with something so minute....can be such a positive basis of your marriage!

Well, Marshall is having his 6th Chemo round......he is so excited bc this is the last of the first phase of his treatment.  He will get a 3 week break.....before surgery.  Brian stayed over bc I had to shadow at work yesterday, and I didn't have time to pack.....hate being a girl....LOL

I was jammin to music last night.....and called a friend that I haven't spoken to what...maybe 30 years.....can you believe it....We will chat on facebook and I looked for her last night on there......and I was soooo bummed.....so, I messaged her and she told me to call.....so....I did.....man!  talk about friendship......so many years ago, then she leaves school and you never see/talk to her again......then now, years later, married, kids.....I am out of state and poof......I call her.....and it was as though no time has gone by.......we talked about "do you remember....him....her......."  memory lane....man, and how small of a world this is.  Her friendships with some that I went to school with.  It was so nice to talk.  I know that she has always offered for me to call anytime and I have said the same to her on facebook.....but I was always so scared to call....LOL....it's like....what do I say?  Will I say something wrong.....LOL  you know....since it has been so long.....man!!! but it was again like a said...awesome.  I am so greatful for that and amazed at the lives that God puts in your life.  and you have no idea the timing or the reasons for certain things and all, but they are there. 

She told me that she wants to come visit me.....she said..."I know that sounds wierd"  LOL, but I was thinking hell.....NO.  I love it!!!!  I wanted to see her when I went out to visit my family...but there are so many of them.... :0) and so little time, that it was just way to hard.  I hated that.  I almost need a friend trip out to Phx and not tell my family...but just go and see friends....line them up like I do when I visit my family.  Every night and day doing something, getting together at so and so's house......So I hope it works out!!!!  Praying....although I am a boring host...that is one thing I never learned.....oh, well.....there are far worse things to complain about......it's not like I got Cancer or anything....you know!?  I will take the lack of hosting knowledge....and be quiet.

Huge damn cricket/spider downstairs in basement....two youngest won't go down there...and I have to go find it.....ugh!!!!!!! Hate those things....I am a tough girl.......I have been hunting with my dad, seen a deer gutted and all.....I can kill bugs and spiders....etc.....but now that I have 6 boys/men in the house....it's not my job anymore, but for some reason it doesn't work out that way......I have to go and kill most things.....so, I will probably be jumping and screaming....when that thing jumps around...hopefully it won't follow me like one did with Aidan (4 year old) and terrify the living heck out of him.  they are like mutant dinasour age things......I mean really.....ugh!!!!!!!!!!  Just heard a scream...better go and do my motherly (well, not to me it's not.....) duties.....

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