WOW!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!! INSPIRATIONAL!!!!!!!!! LOSS FOR WORDS!!!!!!!!!!
that is what i am thinking right now. we are all exhuasted as many of you are that showed up to the fundraiser last night and set up, cleaned up and danced your booties off.
i couldn't believe the numbers that came in support of Marshall. well, i can but to see it and it be actual and physical. my eyes couldn't take it all in. i saw many dear ones that i haven't seen in years and it sucks this was the way i had to touchbase with many friends. but it was good and i was glad to have an excuse to get everyone and all those people together.
as i was joking about Marshall all night. he didn't have to pick Cancer to get attention. he coulda done something else to become famous....LOL i am still working on my Top Ten List of "You have to get Cancer to get......" ;0)
Marshall had a blast last night. to see him dancing again...that only happens at a "knoell" wedding (that's my side of fam). let me tell you....you want to party......come to my side of the tracks....Arizona and go to any party......it's a blast!!!!! but the weddings are when we get to dance our booties off......that's when your hair falls out of place, your makeup starts to disappear, and you are huffing and puffing during the 'slow songs' to get your breath back....LOL
when Marshall was on the dance floor it just broke my heart (in a good way) to see him dancing with the little girls....that is so 'my Marshall' it wouldn't be any other way. he as always been that way. all the little kids just flock to him and i guess from last night too....the girls do to........man!!!! now if only he can get a girlfriend :0) it seems that he may have a lot to choose from possibly......
when he threw off his hat.........i cried........my son is so damn strong, and just embraces this awful, sick, annoying, long destroying disease. he is a champion in my book but he always has been with me. even though, he loves to make fun of me.....which drives me crazy and such sometimes. i was about to make him walk home from the hospital yesterday bc he just kept making fun of me.........ugh!!!!! my brain is fried......so i am gonna ask stupid questions...but i don't even know if i am up or down sometimes and where i am and where i am going......LOL i hope he will never understand that. i hope he never has to experience what i am going thru....but it would be nice for some compassion :0) he loves to be sarcastic, and i guess it's payback for mom.....since, i was, am and will be.......just not as quick as him (that's where he gets that from his dad....so darn quick) oh, and brian loves to laugh at me to...but you know....i laugh at myself all the time.....
so off track......anyway........i am proud to be Marshall's mom and i hope to be an inspiration to him as his mother. i don't know how that would work....but something. i want to be his rock and his shoulder (good luck with boys on that one) i want him to be proud that i am his mom...don't know about that. i want Marshall to come to me regarding this Cancer and let me in on how he is feeling. i want to go thru this with him. i know i am and all i will be there to the bitter end, no matter which end it is. i just read a caringbridge site of a friend of Marshall's and her mother had the best quote that someone told her.....
" either way in life it is a win-win. You either win by staying on this Earth to share God's words or you win by joining Him in Heaven."
wow! that sums it up.....it's just a matter of being at piece and accepting one of the 'wins'
well, i must be getting off....i gotta put on my face and be ready for the hospital call.......it's takes me awhile....LOL
God Bless, Mary Keep and St Joseph Guide You
St Peregrine and Bl Pier Giorgio Frassati, pray for us
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