this is my 4th attempt at writing something. it never feels right or i have to leave it and then the moment and my thoughts and feelings are gone...pooof!
We are home. we got home last night in time for yummy BBQ pork and sides!!!!!!! it was nice to be home. Marshall ate dinner, but threw it up. it was the first time he threw up since the previous Saturday. We kept him on the 'Bad Pump" (anti-nausea IV) the whole time and finally turned it off yesterday afternoon and he did really good.
This hospital visit was interesting.
1.) we thought we were gonna be home Sunday night or Monday morning ..... nope! this was a 4 day treatment. so, we learned something..... he has two different chemo treatments. so, all his odd trips will be 3 days and his even trips will be 4 days in the hospital. they each react differently with Marshall. this last round was rough after the 5th dose of chemo. his blood pressure dropped when he was going to the bathroom to 68/31. he was about to pass out and the nurses wouldn't let him! we had about 6 nurses in there for that.........you should have seen the look on their faces....being all quiet, i was in the background reading faces, trying to figure out "should i call, Brian" i did bc i would want to know if i was at home sleeping.
i think i got about an hour of sleep that night. earlier his lung was hurting again, so tried oxycodone, and they didn't believe us when we told them he needs 15 mg. the doc later on said, okay, you know what you are talking about and i will listen from now on. he got morphine which helped.
then in the late morning the hospital got a 'code orange' (tornado warning) so we all had to go into the hallways and chill until it was over. we hung out with Marshall's friend Ashley that is there and should be going home today. she has the same thing Marshall has just in different areas. she was diagnosed in march of this year.
where was i? i had to see Aidan off with my mom. she was taking him to the park. and i had to put Marshall's 'aqua guard' on. that protects his Hickman catheter from getting wet. so, he is getting ready for the day. we are going to go to bruegger's where he worked and pick up some donation money so i can put it in the account set aside for medical bills....which, are slowly coming in :0(
all i have to say is that i was on 'honeymoon' with the cancer until this weekend. honeymoon is over and reality showed it's first signs to me. i dealt with it, i faced it, and i am fine now and ready!!!!! all we can do is take baby step after baby step. we have no idea what's around the corner, but we will see and we will do this together!
when something tragic happens in a family, you really see either the beauty, strength and faith in each other or not. i have to say, i am impressed with us...no, we are not perfect, but we are faithful, together, and here for each other!
each of us are playing a role in this, and we can only do what is expected of us. our roles are unique but all fit within each other's roles. there will be bumps...but heck, i always loved it when my dad went over a bump in the four wheeler or the truck when we were sitting in the back!!!!!!
BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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